Azusa 101

This past week, from Thursday through Sunday, I went on a four day service-learning trip through the city of Azusa. The object of the Azusa 101 trip is to learn more about the social issues going on within the community and our role in it as APU students. We visited schools, non-profit organizations, churches, the police station, and other various places within the city of Azusa. We stayed with a family the first night and at a local church for the second and third night. It was such an amazing and enlightening experience. I gained such a different perspective on issues ranging from homelessness to the education system to immigration during this trip. I could not believe how much goes on in the city I have been living in for the past two years that I was unaware of. Here is a poem I wrote during and after the trip as a sort of reflection on my thoughts and experiences during Azusa 101. I am not completely satisfied with the poem, and at some point I will likely come back and make changes to it. But for now, here it is.

It’s Easy.

It is easy to voice your intense opposition
Of the law-breaking, foreign immigrant,
To insist on stricter laws in this nation
And across borders with little management,
Until you stare into the face of the man
Who has a family and no money for rent,
Who is shoved, abused, scammed, humiliated,
Desperate for work to provide for three children
But unable to pay the unaffordable fee for new documents,
He is thrown to the streets with his family, unliberated.

It is easy to rebuke the homosexual
For sinful, improper attractions
Which could not possibly be natural,
But choices, decisions, mutilations,
Until you look into the shamed boy’s eyes
Abhorred by his own feelings and life,
Desperate for acceptance and approval
But often the object of looks of despise,
Praying to God to be freed of this strife,
He is abandoned, condemned, left alone in battle.

It is easy to say racism is nonexistent,
A problem of other past communities,
That everyone has the chance to be content
In this land of equal opportunities,
Until you are told by a seven year old girl
That she’s not going to college because she’s brown,
Or the African-American teen
Towards whom hate crimes ruthlessly hurl,
Beautiful faces who, loveless, will drown,
Yet not reason enough to upset life’s routine.

It is easy to ignore these problems
And walk on past towards the American dream,
The white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and sparkling gems,
Money, fashion, power, a continuous stream.
But what about the hurting, helpless, oppressed?
How quickly backs are turned from their struggles,
So easy to continue life in ignorance of the hostility
In society, unwilling to sacrifice, protest,
Step up as God’s beloved, chosen peoples
And care even a little about this hurting humanity.

It is easy to push aside the statistics
Of poverty, homelessness, abuse, violence,
In a hurting world with a surplus of critics,
But no one willing to speak up amidst the silence,
Blind to the faces behind the numbers,
Outraged at increased taxes to relieve
The single, working mother with a sick daughter,
More concerned with my well-being than a stranger’s,
God crying for His children to act and believe
The solution is not violence, but mercy, love, laughter.

Comfort.

God has been speaking to me a lot about comfort lately. I am strongly considering changing my major from Applied Health (with an Art minor) to Sociology (with an Art and English minor). It is all so strange and sudden to me. Had you asked me even a month ago if I would ever consider changing my major from Applied Health, I would have confidently answered no. Yet, here I am, merely weeks later, with a head full of questions and doubts. God tends to work this way in my life. Just when I think I have my life all figured out, God comes and turns all my plans upside down.

The main reason I am strongly considering switching my major from Applied Health to Sociology has a lot to do with comfort. Even more specifically, it has to do with the dangers of comfort. The medical field has always been the "easy" way out for me. Sometimes I almost feel as if I chose to pursue the medical field simply because of things people told me growing up, or because my mother is in that field of work. It would be the comfortable route for me to take in life. But that is not at all what I want. Looking back on my life, I now realize the greatest times, and the times I felt most alive in God, have been when I was pushed out of my comfort zone. High Sierra is a perfect example of this. I could not have been more out of my comfort zone in that situation, and yet, that semester was probably the four best months of my life.

Comfort is such a deceptive and dangerous thing. In America, comfort is looked at as something positive, something desired. Yet, it is so easy to turn to the wrong things for comfort. Many people turn to money, material possessions, bodily safety, or job security as "comforting." We are deceived! Jobs can be lost, material possessions can be taken, our bodies are so fragile. There is no safety found in any of these things. Safety is truly found in God alone. Nothing else lasts, nothing else matters. We must stop deceiving ourselves.

So, back to my major. I do not want to choose the "safe" route in life! I want to travel. I want to follow God to the ends of the earth. I want to use my life in the absolute most effective way for Christ's kingdom. I love people and I love serving. It is while I serve others that I feel most alive, as if I am truly doing what God has called me to do. I love hearing about people's lives, the experiences they've had and the things they've gone through. There is so much oppression and injustice in this world. I am certain there is so much more than I am even aware of. It is painful for me to think about. I want to change this. As much as my one little life possibly can, I want to fight social injustices and help those who are hurting, alone, oppressed. What does this mean? What does this look like? Honestly, I have no idea. All I know is I want to serve and love as Jesus did. I want to see the world and the different people, cultures, and places God has created.

Yet, a part of me is absolutely terrified to switch majors. I do not even really know why. College majors are so overrated. And I am not even very attached to Applied Health. Don't get me wrong, I like the science classes I am taking. I think I am scared that people will be disappointed in me. I fear they will simply think I am switching from a major where I am guaranteed a good, well-paying job to one where there is no stability or guarantees. Yet, that is the beauty of it for me! I know God will take care of me. Money is not something I need to worry about. I do not want to choose a major simply for monetary or security reasons. I want to choose a major because it is the place where I will learn most, grow, and best serve God.

So, Sociology? Applied Health? I honestly do not know. But there is something beautiful about not knowing. It pushes me to go to God more, to rely solely on Him. So God, it is up to you. Lead me where you will have me. Help me to take risks! I do not want to get stuck living a "comfortable" life. I want to LIVE.

Wish Upon a Dream

I have stumbled across another poem I wrote while studying at High Sierra last Spring. Although I have always been such a logical minded person, I have come to discover there lies a dreamer within me. This poem is but a glimpse of this dreamer inside.


Standing in this vast and opportune world,
My mind ponders past hopes and future dreams
Wondering where my life will next be hurled,
And knowing what results is what God deems.
I look up and wish upon a lone star,
Asking for a life of love, beauty, joy;
More than the stars in the glorious sky
The dreams in my young and hopeful heart are,
Some live exposed while others remain coy,
And yet their presence I cannot deny.

Dreams both vast and small lay amidst my soul,
In hope of emerging and coming true;
Oh, beautiful, boundless dreams to console
And comfort victims in need of rescue,
To dance among flowers of the meadows
And to freely sing the tune of my heart,
To fill a dark world with laughter and love
And shoot the scorned with Cupid’s sharp arrows,
To speak the unspeakable through my art
And bring true delight to the King above.

Only through Him can these dreams be achieved,
And only through grace will this hope remain;
Will my heart’s desires soon be relieved?
And which dreams will I lose or retain
Here in a life that seems but a moment?
And so now I will continue twirling
Down the path that is narrow and straight
Grasping hope of dreams fulfilled, being patient
At this stage of not reaping, but sowing;
As for now, in this heart my dreams shall wait.

Time Will Not Remain Await

High Sierra, Spring 2009


Further distractions will soon captivate
These unfixed eyes and heart I lack in Thee.
Be not fooled, time will not remain await.

Hypnotized by meaningless things frustrate;
Unveil these eyes, allow me to see that
Further distractions will soon captivate.

Distracted and fruitless be not my fate;
Nothing to do, but always too busy,
Be not fooled, time will not remain await.

This way a helpless struggle to vacate,
Trying to stray from faults of history;
Further distractions will soon captivate.

Struggling to be rid of this excess weight
And know where life does so furtively flee.
Be not fooled, time will not remain await.

My mind says no, but my heart wills debate,
Fighting unceasingly till it is free;
Further distractions will soon captivate,
Be not fooled, time will not remain await.